The older you get the more you will realize that your friends are people who have made mistakes and bad decisions and even just fucked up and hurt people.
And obviously your boundaries with your friends are completely up to you but you do need to recognize that if you cut off everyone who has done something wrong, you’re going to end up with no friends (and you yourself will have also fucked up in your life, and not lived up to those impossible standards either).
I’ve found it’s much more constructive to learn how to say “hey dude, that was massively fucked up of you,” because most people are really willing to say “yeah, it was, I need to work on it/not do it again/apologize and make things right” ESPECIALLY if they are hearing it from you as their friend.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for another person is to tell them that they’ve done something wrong, help them fix it, and stay their friend because it’s what we would want from them if we did something wrong.
it is kinda fucked up how “masculine looking gay man actually acts kinda feminine irl” is treated as like a “gotcha” online or whatever, like oh not the hairy leather daddy likes to queen out sometimes how horrible!
i don’t think that’s even like. necessarily an attempt to hide said femininity, i think the nuances of “gay” looking body language and mannerisms is just something that doesn’t automatically translate in photos or even an online presence.
once again thinking about this guy at the pigeon museum who was giving a little presentation about pigeon mating habits or something, and takes one look at me and my partner and immediately goes “oh and pigeons can be GAY, too!!!”
